


Im like that fryed egg

by orphan_account



Category: Black Panther (2018), Deadpool (Movieverse), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Attempt at Humor, Bullying, Gen, How Do I Tag, It's all in good fun, OOC characters oof, Peter has a cat, but probably drugs too, chatfic, groupchat, not really tho, some language, the soda, wade is addicted to coke, wade is stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-11-13 14:24:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18033410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: In which Wade is addicted to coke, Shuri has some weird ass dreams, and everything is just chaosorthe group chat au no one asked forORWade: Im like that fryed egg ( for that what drugs does to u any questions) except that fryed egg is when I don't have cokePeter: I lost about 7 brain cells trying to read that





	Im like that fryed egg

**Author's Note:**

> sorry everyone's OOC. I literally just copied texts from a gc with my friends, but I tried to pair everyone as best as I could
> 
> also please do not comment about typos or texts (specifically wade's) not making any sense, that is intentional. It's how my friends actually typed this stuff

_Wed, Dec 26, 12:49 am_

Wade: i want coke

Wade: Im like that fryed egg ( for that what drugs does to u any questions) except that fryed egg is when I don't have coke

Shuri: Ooook good analogy Wade

Peter: I lost about 7 brain cells trying to read that

Peter: What does it mean

Shuri: lol you know how doing drugs fries your brain like a fried egg, but in his case, not having coke makes him feel like a fried egg

Peter: ok

Shuri: lmfao

_Wed, Dec 26, 4:31 pm_

Wade: how do princess smartybitch understand that) smartybitch do know how to talk to animals

Shuri: Well I'd assume cause all my friends are animals

Peter: Mood

Wade: XD

Shuri: Actually calling them animals would be giving them too much. You guys aren't smart enough

Peter: Bigger mood

Wade: your right

_Fri, Dec 28, 9:13 am_

Shuri: I had a nightmare where my uncle was my chemistry teacher, I had to retake my midterm for that class butt instead decided to go home and get a D- and Peter was my boyfriend, it was terrifying

Shuri: but*

_Fri, Dec 28, 10:44 am_

Peter: Im so sorry you had to date me

Peter: that sounds awful

_Fri, Dec 28, 7:14 pm_

Wade: XD nicesss

Shuri: Oh yes Peter :3 :3 my boi <3 love you :3

Wade: I like how peter hasnt answer

Shuri: Yup

Shuri: he's just too embarassed to admit that he loves me

Wade: XD

Pater: smooch smooch

_Fri, Dec 28, 11 :53 pm_

Peter: my cat has a cold

Peter: And he got boogers all over May's ramen

Wade: XD ewwww

Peter: she ate it anyway

Peter: but like tbh i probably would too

Wade: tmi

Peter: {file_el_bitch.jpeg} (pic of Shuri's switch account)

Peter: haha shurfo jo

Wade: XD jo

Shuri: :)

Wade: jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo jo

Shurfo Jo: Stahp

Peter: thet name keeps me up at night i love it so much

Shurfo Jo: hey do you guys too much information about my dream

Wade: sure

Shurfo Jo: Peter kissed me

Shurfo Jo: So now I hate you Peter

Shurfo Jo: Forever

Shurfo Jo: I can't even look at you

Wade: XD dang

Peter: dam shurfo jo

Peter: you know you want it

Shurfo Jo: No I hate you

Peter: mood

Shurfo Jo: why did you do that

Shurfo Jo: why peter why

Peter: I had no control shurfo jo i swear

Shurfo Jo: why couldn't you have done it to michelle

Shurfo Jo: or wap

Shurfo Jo: wade*

Shurfo Jo: or Ned

Shurfo Jo: tsk tsk

Peter: MJ saving dat ass for Farquaad

Shurfo Jo: Wade's name is wap

Wap: wap!?!? XD

Wap: Peter your the one who hits me for messing with u

Peter: You fucked me up on uno you deserved it

Wap: yeah ) btw i lost my deck of uno so we cant play it but i still have skippo

Shurfo Jo: oh dang

Shurfo Jo: oh yes

Wap: my uno deck

Shurfo Jo: ill teach you guys how to play golf next time

Shurfo Jo: the card game

Shurfo Jo: it sucks as heckie

Peter: I'm gonna make you guys play the meme game Mr. stark got me

Wap: XD yeah i lost my deck

Wap: ok cool there a game I used to had that need to buy some timr

Shurfo Jo: Ugh I'm NOT THEEERE

Peter: STOP GOING TO WAKANDA

Wap: Oh yeah ( just hope I'm not still sick

Shurfo Jo: :0

Wap: Yeah gtfo of Wakanda

Shurfo Jo: I caaaaaaant

Wap: NOW

Wap: No

Wap: RIGHT NOW PRINCESS SMARTYBITCH

Peter: you sound like a mom

Wap: no your stupid

Shurfo Jo: {file_nick_cage_pillow.jpeg} who wants

Peter: beaut

Shurfo Jo: should I get it for your next borth

Peter: Noo

Peter: Nop*

Peter: U should get me nothing for my next borth

Shurfo Jo: dang it

Peter: should I get it for your upcoming borth

Wap: no peter

Shurfo Jo: NO

Peter: Wade do you want one for late borth

Wap: we should get smartybitch something

Peter: I need to get you something I feel so bad

Shurfo Jo: no

Shurfo Jo: no

Shurfo Jo: If you do i'll kill you

Peter: I meant Wap lmao but you too

Peter: ixhehehheuejjebebe I hate you all for that party I feel so bad now because I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO IN RETUrn

Shurfo Jo: ah yes for Wap

Shurfo Jo: obviously get something for Wap

Peter: Wap can you bring the dancing pumpkin guy

Wap: No I'm good  
Now I'm differently getting smartybitch something

Peter: get her

Peter: an egg

Shurfo Jo: NOOOOOO

Peter: yum yum

Peter: A cheese wheel

Shurfo Jo: oooh yum yum

Wap: yes u did u smacked me in uno

Peter: with an egg

Wap: yes

Shurfo Jo: :o

Wap: L love the name Wap

Peter: oof i changed your name in my phone to wap

Shurfo Jo: yes

Peter: Are MJ and Ned dead

Peter: Yes they are ok

Peter: {file.lmao_this_bitch.jpeg} (embarassing pic of MJ)

Peter: I can send this then

Shurfo Jo: Oh beautiful

Wap: XD ( now we need a good name for Peter. He the only one I call here from his original name

Shurfo Jo: yeeter

Peter: I'm ok with that

Wap: no )

Shurfo Jo: yes

Wap: Nice  
I can't wait for them to see 100 messages on there phone

Peter: thats been Shurfo jos name for me for like 3 years

Peter: ikr lmao

Shurfo Jo: yess

Peter: they're probably just watching and creeping around

Shurfo Jo: :ooooooo

Peter: Hey

Peter: hey guys

Peter: guess what

Peter: {file.aquaman_kid_meme.jpeg}

Shurfo Jo: Oh that looks like a wonderful movie

Shurfo Jo: unlike the actual one

Peter: :)

Wap: XD

Peter: i need to show you something someone airdropped to me in film crit

Peter: it just... it's really weird and gross but I've kept it to myself for about a month and it haunt me at night

Peter: I need to show someone or I'm going to die

Peter: {file.sexy.jpeg} (really weird pic of an asian kid eating while a duck or bird or whatever is eating/sucking his gEnItAls)

Wap: Link it BBBBIIIIIIIIIIITTTTCCCCCCCHHH

Peter: I just sent it

Shurfo Jo: WHYYYYY

Peter: IM NOT SORRY

Wap: XD peter Im going to call u pean now XD

Peter: I think about this picture all the fucking time

Peter: what is happening

Peter: who did this

Peter: why

Peter: I just

Peter: I'm scared

Shurfo Jo: you scare me

Peter: thanks

Wap: its ok pean

Peter: ok why

Peter: of all names

Peter: who chose pean

Peter: It could have been ANYTHING

Wap: because of this pic you sent

Shurfo Jo: Bean

Wap: now your pean

Pean: whatever wap

Pean: peanie beanie

Wap: with a p

Shurfo Jo: pp

Pean: can you please just call me yeeter

Wap: XD yeap

Wap: pp

Wap: no ppean

Pean: lmfao we've been talking for almost 2 hours

Pean: NOT PEAN

Shurfo Jo: pp daddy

Pean: STAHP

Pean: SHURI WTF

Shurfo Jo: ok pp daddy

Pean: this is bullying

Shurfo Jo: its not Peanie

Wap: Poopyppean

Shurfo Jo: Ok bb

Pean: Wap no

Shurfo Jo: wap yes

Pean; what did i do to deserve this

Wap: XD

Shurfo Jo: Kiss me <3

Pean: You'd like that wouldn't you

Wap: Penetrationppean

Pean: wap what did i dooooo to deserve this

Wap: PenisPean

Wap: exists

Shurfo Jo: ppean

Wap: ppean

MJ: ppean

Pean: so it's not even pean anymore its ppean

Wap: Ppean  
S  
T  
O  
P

Wap: yes

Wap: like pp

Ppean: I do like pp

Shurfo Jo: pp daddy chill

Ppean: miss me with that gay shit ya know

Shurfo Jo: pp is gross

Shurfo Jo: trust me

Ppean: yeah you'd know

Wap: Ppean its ok

Ppean: shut up wap

Wap: XD

Wap: we got

Wap: Nedders

Wap: Smartybitch

Wap: eyebrows

Wap: Wap

Wap: H

Wap: &

Wap: PPean

Shurfo Jo: and ppean

Ppean: why is my name the worst

Wap: yes ppean you had it coming

Wap: when you show that pic of that ppean

Ppean: ok im not responding to ppean anymore

Ppean: I regret showing you

Ppean: i should have just let it eat at me for the rest of my life

Shurfo Jo: yes

Wap: Ppean its okay

Shurfo Jo: Peter we love you

Shurfo Jo: but obviously you love me way too much

Ppean: why am I being punished for something your brain did

Wap: who's peter

Ppean: wow wap

Ppean: who's ppean

Shurfo Jo: no no no

Wap: ppean is wgat the bird is trying to eat

Ppean: thats great

Wap: XD its ok ppean

Ppean: Who?

Shurfo Jo: :D

Ppean: talking to you ppl is giving me a headache

Wap: It's okay ppean

Ppean: WHO IS THAt

Shurfo Jo: you bb

Ppean: who am I

Wap: ppean

Shurfo Jo: pp daddy

Ppean: doesn't ring a bell

Shurfo Jo: K

Shurfo Jo: night night bbs

Ppean: did you just 'k' me sir

Wap: XD

Shurfo Jo: yes sir

Ppean: Shurfo Jo sounds like a child molester

Wap: K

Ppean: did you just k me

Wap: KKK

Ppean: I would ditch y'all but you're basically my only friends so oof

Shurfo Jo: Wooooooow

Ppean: I'm jk<3

Shurfo Jo: i'll get you some cheesecake

Ppean: yes plz

Wap: ewwwww

Shurfo Jo: yum yum

Ppean: wap is weird

Wap: i'm better than ppean

Ppean: who is this ppean you speak of

Ppean: he sounds like a great guy

Shurfo Jo: hey

Shurfo Jo: gey

Ppean: i thought u went to slep

Wap: XD

_Sat, Dec 29, 3:13 am_

Wap: ppean

_Sat, Dec 29, 11:09 am_

Nedders: Yall smoochin?

Nedders: Man my phone been dead all night and these messages are just floodin

Ppean: lmfao how many were there

Nedders: like a billion messages dude

Ppean: XD

Wap: XD ( peter is now called Ppean

Ppean: that is incorrect

Shurfo Jo: Peter? Who's that? I only know ppean

Wap: XD

Ppean: I hate you

**Author's Note:**

> please comment on anything you think i can improve on


End file.
